A plea to parents of gay children
By Shakira Sison
October 31, 2013

So your son has come to you and told you what he’s feeling. Or you’ve noticed the difference in his actions or your daughter’s outfits. As a parent, you feel a panic besiege you, knowing full well how the world treats people like them, even when they’re young. You recall the taunts you’ve heard growing up, directed at some poor kid and maybe even to you.

You think of your gay colleagues, many of whom are still cruising as adults, most still hiding their nature from their families. You feel protective of your child and would like to shield him from pain. You did not raise a child to be treated poorly, and it’s just natural for a parent to look after their offspring. You decide your child is not going to be treated that way.

But the task of changing the world is too big and cumbersome, so you decide the change is going to come from your child. You ask that he or she not be “like that,” as if it were a habit like saying a dirty word. God doesn’t want you to be that way, you say, because you can’t fathom as a parent saying you don’t like how your own child looks and acts. You cite examples for him like the neighborhood bakla you’ve assumed is lonely and alone. You mention your lesbian relative, and you say she will never have a family, or be a wife and a mother. So don’t be like that, you tell your daughter. I won’t have it. This is for your own good.

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